Healing is not linear (and it’s really hard to accept)

We'd love for healing to be a straight line, and when I say "we" that includes me x1000!
A difficult start, constant effort, then a lasting improvement.
But reality is rarely like that, I learned it the hard way on my therapist's couch.

Healing, whether emotional, mental, or even physical, is often a journey of ups and downs. Bright days followed by setbacks. Moments where we feel proud of ourselves, then others where we feel like we've lost everything and even fallen further.

And that's hard to accept.

When we thought we were getting better… and it still hurts

There's something particularly discouraging about telling yourself:
"I thought I was further along than this."

Reliving an emotion you thought was resolved.
Feeling tired, fragile, sensitive again.
Feeling like you're back to square one.

But feeling something again doesn't mean that all the work done before disappears (I often repeat this to myself to understand it). It just means that healing happens in layers. We understand one thing, then later, we understand it differently, more deeply.

Healing doesn't mean never hurting again

We are often led to believe that healing means no longer being affected.
No longer crying over the same things.
No longer doubting, just being well (well, a unicorn world doesn't exist).

But in reality, healing is learning to support yourself when it comes back.
It's recognizing what's happening instead of judging yourself. It's knowing that even on a bad day, you have more tools in your toolbox than before.

The pain may return, but it doesn't always take the same place. It no longer tells exactly the same story.

Accepting non-linearity is a task in itself

Accepting that it goes up and down requires a lot of gentleness towards yourself. It requires letting go of the idea of performance, even in healing.
Not comparing yourself to yesterday's version of yourself, nor to others. It's also trying not to just congratulate yourself on good days, because then on less good days we tend to self-criticize!

Some days, doing your best is just breathing and getting through. And that's enough.

You haven't regressed

If you're going through a tougher period after having been well, remember this:
You haven't failed. You haven't lost your progress. You are simply human.

Healing is more like a spiral than a straight line. We sometimes pass through the same places, but with more awareness, more compassion, more strength than before. 🌀

And even if you don't always see it, you are still moving forward (I swear!)

Take your time. Be gentle with yourself.
You are doing exactly what you can, and that is already a lot.

If no one has told you recently, know that I am proud of you, you can be too, you are sensitive and that is a superpower.